I wish there were necklaces given to us at birth that were half of a unique shape and your soulmate wore the other half and they got warmer the closer together you were and colder the further away you were so you could go on this journey when you’re ready to find your other half so that you could be spared all the pain and heartbreak of being played with by those who don’t take dating as seriously as you do
if you ever call me annoying, even if it’s just jokingly, the chances of me ever speaking to you again are slim to none because I’ll be so afraid that every little word or sound that comes out of my mouth will aggravate you and make you cringe and hate my existence
When an employee at the McDonald’s drive through asks me how I’m doing, I always ask them back, just in case they need someone to talk to because you never know
Those fries could be salted with tears
So you’re the fucker who slows down the drive through
there are two kinds of people
Everyone is cute, they just may not be YOUR kind of cute. But they’re cute to someone, and that thought alone is adorable.